Ever since I was very young, still a child, I was teased about my weight all through high school and still every now and then beyond that. I was not even a teenager yet and my brother and “good friend” at the time were insulting me for being skinny and calling me anorexic and bulimic. In seventh grade, three boys in my last class would call me these same things every single day (as well as a slut); What a wonderful end to my school day! Despite these claims, I have never even touched an eating disorder. Though my choices may not have always been the healthiest, I have always eaten enough (often times more than necessary) and my worst fear, next to spiders, is vomiting. My peers were calling me flat-chested to my face and behind my back often, but I was just thin and, more importantly, probably not even halfway through puberty yet.
The teasing did not end there. Throughout the years, the same insulting, invasive, and cruel statements were spouted from the mouths of family, friends, and others: “Hey, chicken legs.” “Put some meat on your bones!” “Do you even eat anything?” “Eat a cheeseburger!” “You’re so skinny!” “You’re bony.” “You have no fat on you!” “Skinny white girl..” “How much do you eat?” “Are you anorexic?” The list goes on. Even complete and total strangers at work have made blatant and insulting comments on how thin I am and have said things like “I bet you barely even weigh 80 pounds wet.” Let us not forget to mention the photos on Facebook and other social networking sites: “Real women have curves” “Bones are for dogs; Meat is for men” and all the memes out there with the same message.
Even still, people randomly make a point to comment on my weight. Sure it has died down a good deal since high school and since I have started to fill out slightly, but it still occurs to this very day. The thing is, is that because being thin is so glorified by media and young people and that thin people are seen basically as “privileged,” few people who are not skinny themselves see how destructive insults such as the ones I listed above can be and often are. It is hard to say how often people are bullied for being skinny compared to those who are bullied for being bigger, but both are equally shitty. No one should be insulted for their weight, or appearance in general, period.
To this day, I am not okay with my body. The constant offensive remarks surging through my mind and engulfing my thoughts has caused an erosive effect on how I view myself. Some days there is a slight comforting feeling of contentedness while other days I simply hate how I look. I feel as though I would give anything for an extra 15-20 pounds and curves, but I am in the painful process of rewiring my brain and learning how to love myself: something I have yet to accomplish.
- submitted by fuckinginfeelgoodinc